CAPTION:(with a moo sound effect) PIPE UP
PIPER: Hey guys, it's Piper and this week I'm joined by bestie, Xanthe, you will remember her, my best friend...
XANTHE: Hi!
PIPER: ...despite being a One Direction fan...
XANTHE: No, I'm not!
PIPER: You are.
XANTHE: I'm not!
PIPER: You definitely were the last time...
XANTHE: I'm not, I'm not!
PIPER: Quote...'Do you think Ben would do his hair like Harry for me?'
Xanthe gasps in indignation.
PIPER: No, I heard it!
XANTHE:(laughs) Maybe a little bit!
PIPER: I'm, like, doing charity work by being friends with you for liking One Direction!
Xanthe squeaks in protest.
XANTHE:(close to the camera) Harry's my favourite!
PIPER:(also close to the camera) Me, too!
They both laugh.
XANTHE: What?!
They continue to laugh.
XANTHE: Well, I'm totally over One Direction now.
PIPER: I was never...under...
They both laugh hysterically.
PIPER: I mean, I was never on the One Direction bandwagon, so I can't be over them. So this week, Xanthe went on a pretty exciting trip...she went back to her home town, the Gold Coast...
XANTHE: Yay! I made a drawing of me at the Gold Coast, it's really cool, do you guys want to see it, ready?
She holds up a picture that looks like it was drawn by a three year old. Piper is speechless.
XANTHE:(pointing at the picture) This is me...
PIPER:(humouring her) It's really good...
XANTHE: Thank you, look, this is me, there's the sand, and it's a really sunny day and my heart because I'm really happy because I'm with Ben, and I'm just really happy so my heart just flows across...
PIPER: You couldn't have found some other...
XANTHE: Oh there's my heels as well because I wore heels on the beach because...
PIPER: Oh, no, you're one of *those* girls!
XANTHE: Well, Ben was there, I had to look nice! And I had my makeup on, and my big smile, and my curly hair and...
PIPER: Anyway, anyway, ANY- way! It wasn't cool that you left without permission and that you had to get dragged back by the School Principal.
Piper dissolves into laughter.
XANTHE: Okay, okay...!
PIPER: So, basically, this all brings us to the question of which is better? (Doubtfully) The Gold Coast...(brightly) or Melbourne!
Caption: MELBOURNE GOLD COAST
PIPER: So, it's pretty much no contest, it's a no- brainer!
XANTHE: Well, we'll see about that, won't we?!
PIPER: I know, technically, I'm a Perth girl, I'm Team Perth, but Melbourne is...it's like, my spiritual home, you know?
XANTHE:(sarcastically) Oh, yeah, you're *soooo* Melbourne.
PIPER:(laughs) What?! Off the bat...Melbourne has better weather.
XANTHE: Said no- one ever!
PIPER: No, Melbourne actually has seasons! You can wear a beanie in Melbourne without your head sweating off.
XANTHE: Why don't you just wear some really cute bandanas?!
PIPER:(with a beanie on) Love wearing a beanie, my head's totally not sweaty at all, it's a perfect temperature under here.
XANTHE:(wearing a bandana) Cool breeze and sun! Sun!
PIPER:(pretending to be at the Gold Coast) Oh! Oh! Sweating up a storm in this beanie! Oh, this weather! Can we have some seasons up here, please!
XANTHE: Oooh, looking fabulous! Fabulous! Oooh, ooh, sun, sun! Well, Gold Coast is better because it has beaches and surf and surfers and sailboats and what else could you want?
PIPER: Culture?
XANTHE: We have, like, four different theme parks.
Piper just looks at her.
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 0 GOLD COAST 1
XANTHE: Four!
PIPER: I'm sorry...
XANTHE: Yeah...!
PIPER: I feel so sorry for you.
XANTHE: What do you mean?!
PIPER: Theme parks?!
XANTHE: Yes, they open on public holidays, that's culture.
Piper looks staggered and laughs in disbelief.
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 0 GOLD COAST 0
XANTHE: There's, like, a really cool arts centre up there and everything.
Piper looks surprised.
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 0 GOLD COAST 1
PIPER: Ah! I didn't know about that. I'll give you a point for that.
XANTHE: Yeah, they were actually going to put a slide out the front but then someone, somewhere decided no.
PIPER: What?!
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 0 GOLD COAST 0
PIPER: Why...you've ruined it! You made it Gold Coast!
XANTHE: No, I haven't! Do you know how cool that would have been?! I'm just going to go and watch a movie in the Arts Centre, oh, I'm going to slide down a big slide.
Piper disbelief has reached new heights.
XANTHE: Melbourne has too many hipsters.
PIPER: What?!
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 0 GOLD COAST 1
XANTHE: Yeah!
PIPER: No, no, I'm no hipster apologist, but...I like coffee.
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 1 GOLD COAST 1
PIPER: I can get behind the man bun.
XANTHE: Oh, yeah, we all know Piper likes a man bun!
PIPER: Stop, no! I mean, like, on the right guy.
XANTHE: Um, I don't like the beards either.
PIPER: I don't get the beard, like a really big...
XANTHE: ...really ug...urghhh.
PIPER: Like, like a banjo beard...
XANTHE: Get stuck in it?
PIPER: Yeah...oh, that means you get another point, though!
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 1 GOLD COAST 2
XANTHE: You are crashing and burning, my friend!
PIPER: I will redeem Melbourne! I will!
XANTHE: Oh, yeah? OK, go on, try!
Piper puts her head in her hands while Xanthe smiles, smugly.
PIPER: How does this happen?! OK, closing arguments. Melbourne has...comedy festival...arts festivals...awesome street art.
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 2 GOLD COAST 2
XANTHE: Yeah, but the Gold Coast is where they filmed 'Pirates of the Caribbean 5'
PIPER: Agree to disagree.
XANTHE: But that *is* where they filmed 'Pirates of the Caribbean 5'...so...
CAPTION: MELBOURNE 2 GOLD COAST 3
PIPER: I...I just meant.
Xanthe is dancing in the background of the video.
XANTHE:(singing) I was right and Piper was wrong, the Gold Coast is better, the Gold Coast, is better, it's better, it's better!
Cut back to the sofa.
PIPER: That's it for another week, um, leave some comments down below, saying why I'm right and why Xanthe's wrong...
XANTHE: Not going to happen!
PIPER: Please, guys, please, help me, even if you've never been to either places, you guys get the gist...as always, leave comments below, if you're new to the channel, click the 'Subscribe' button...uh, and yeah, we will see you next week!
They both wave.
XANTHE:(bad Japanese accent) Mata ne!
PIPER: Bye...(looks confused) Matinée...what did you say?!
XANTHE:(to Piper) Mata ne!
XANTHE AND PIPER:(to the camera) Mata ne!
